Monday, August 15, 2011


When I was a little girl, I was a dreamer. I don't mean dreams that happen at night, in the dark, with a head on a pillow. I mean dreams. Dreams that push you to become something. Dreams that drive you to find your place in this world and beyond. Dreams that make you you.

Dreams could be thought of as a simple Mario Kart game. Obscure, yes, but hear me out: you start out with an objective, and you jump over and under and through obstacles until you've accomplished your mission. You save the good people and capture the bad guys. Each level is full of new challenges and unexpected distractions. At the end of every level, you pick up another dream, which dream becomes your drive throughout the next level. But you never beat the game until the next life. And maybe not even then. At times it's frustrating and tedious, but if you play it right, the excitement always overrides everything else. The rewards continue to stack up and your effort begins to pay off as you unlock new levels and slowly work your way toward the top.

I don't know that I ever realized just how important my dreams were. They were everything, and they still are. What is life without dreams, anyway? Now that I'm older, my dreams have become goals and ambitions of reality. Plans of action, always on my mind.

I have many, many dreams. Dreams that used to seem so far out of reach, but that are now becoming closer and clearer. To some, my dreams are fantasies, phases that will undoubtedly be forgotten over time. But to the true friends, they matter. It's funny how people and dreams are so closely tied. What are dreams without others to help you attain and live and share them? People are put into our lives for a reason, and I believe that oftentimes, that reason is to help us recognize and reach for dreams.

I use to be bothered by the fact that my dreams are always changing. Always in motion, always in the process of alteration. I'm reaching high and far, on my way to fulfillment, and then something happens that invites me, or forces me, to turn the wheel in a direction of something better. Even if I don't realize at that moment that the change will bring improvement. But more and more, I'm realizing that some dreams are put in our minds and hearts just to get our feet moving and lead us to new dreams. Like Mario Kart.

I'll never understand them completely, but I'll never stop trying. They are what they are.

What is life without dreams, anyway?

on to Fall.

Where in the world has my summer gone? In less than two weeks, I will be on my own again, living off of my thai noodles, turkey, and sourdough bread. Ok, I really am going to do better this time in that regard, but I'll be scraping change from the couches nonetheless.

I've spent my summer being confined to a basement office in the Eyring Science Center, 40 hours a week. But oddly enough, I love it. I love responsibility, and I love the feeling of accomplishment--the very two things that make up this secretary job. I've also spent many hours working in the retail environment... I think the smell of Old Navy will forever reside in my nose. Yuck. Those weekly hours have slowly declined, and the last few weeks I've only been working there four hours every Tuesday night. Between aching feet, a low wage, and a creepy manager who follows me around asking about my love life and pretending to fold a shirt here and there, I think I'm about ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. Good bye, retail. Forever.

RYAN IS ENGAGED. I seriously could not be happier for him. His fiance, Marilyn, is his perfect other half. They're getting married September 17th in the Montacello temple, right on Nash's first birthday! Speaking of the little tyke, he and McCaye are staying with us this week. :) McCaye planned a bridal shower for Marilyn this Thursday and they'll be here until Monday. He gets even cuter and even happier every time I see him. Although I'm in zero rush to tie any knots, spending time with the two of them makes me so excited to have a family of my own!

I need to go buy a very long and very thick rope, very soon. I'll use it to tie the pieces of my life together in a giant scout-worthy knot, because I think things might begin to spin out of control a little bit this next month or so. This whole school year will be crazy. I'm working 20 hours a week, which I've never even done during school. Also, I just made it into BYU Noteworthy, a nine-girl a cappella travelling group, which will take up at least 10 hours a week. Whaaaat am I doing. On top of that we've got Ryan's wedding. And I'm living in party central. Bring it on, I guess. :)

This summer has been yet another perfect summer. I have some of the greatest friends in the world, right in my own singles ward. Here are a few pictures of my best friend Annalyse Doman and I. You're the best, Annie!